The Giants, Jets and Yankees won on Sunday, during the same weekend in which the Phillies advanced and the Eagles are still undefeated. And you thought carrying goalposts across town to throw them into a river was weird? What. A. Weekend. Let's fill some buckets.
Baltimore Ravens at New York Giants
Sunday Funday was in full effect for Giants fans, but how many Giants fans were getting blown up in their group text threads at the end of the game? What do you do when a smart football play impacts bettors AND fantasy? Saquon Barkley did exactly that with this play.
Now, my first thought was to congratulate my good friend Devin in my group text with the boys. Not only is he the biggest Giants fan I know, but also I've done nothing but incorrectly tell him his team isn't any good every week on my radio show. So, I send a warm and thoughtful "happy for you" regards after the Giants' pick of Lamar Jackson and the game looks to be done. Nice of me, right? Well, that's when our buddy Mike quickly reminds us we all have more at stake than just a win.
I mean, the King of the Quads still managed 18.5 fantasy points, but as someone facing him in my league AND someone that bet the under, I think I might owe the guy a nice steak dinner somewhere for making what was obviously a brilliant decision. The Giants win. Devin wins. My fantasy team wins. My bank account wins. Clean sweep.
Verdict: Three buckets of joyful tears for Dev.
Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles
Someone check on our friend Erin Dolan. Oh wait, that's what Twitter is for.
good morning the Eagles are 6-0. have a great monday!https://twitter.com/erinkatedolan/status/1581984510631038976?s=20&t=03wboIVf92lq1taniVZ8TQ
— Erin Kate Dolan (@erinkatedolan) Oct 17, 2022
The funny part about this game is what we DIDN'T want to happen. This was supposed to be one of the best games of the week, but when it looked like a blowout in the first half, most of us needed it to turn "Thursday Night Football"-ugly.
64.7% of the 💰 is on the UNDER #DALvsPHI OVER 42 bettors right now...https://twitter.com/OddsShark/status/1581831804629450752?s=20&t=03wboIVf92lq1taniVZ8TQ
— Odds Shark (@OddsShark) Oct 16, 2022
Forty-three. For those of you keeping track at home -- WHICH IS ALL OF US -- this was a swift kick in the no-no places final number (yes, you can tell which side I was on). At least this one was close enough to sweat out, though. I'm pretty sure there's a sportsbook somewhere building a new waterfall pool with actual mermaids in it from its winnings off the mistake most of us made in Kansas City.
95% of the money bet on Bills-Chiefs over/under total (54) is on the over @PointsBetUSA , making it the most lopsided total of the season to date at the book.https://twitter.com/DavidPurdum/status/1581663087823708161?s=20&t=posrq2wco6zVwvlJByUUNQ
— David Payne Purdum (@DavidPurdum) Oct 16, 2022
Verdict: Four buckets of mermaid tears.
Vegas didn't only toy with our emotions on Sunday, by the way. Saturday got in on the fun, too. Iowa State dropping a wide-open bomb that could have put them in position to win or tie against Texas was tough, but this one was brutal.
Kansas Jayhawks at Oklahoma Sooners
Remember when Oklahoma got beat by Kansas last year? Oh, and remember when Kansas hosted GameDay a few weeks ago and looked like world-beaters? While we're strolling down memory lane, remember how many times this year Oklahoma has made it in THIS column for ruining our parlays? That must have been on most of our minds because the Sooners did it again this week with the unexpected.
𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗬 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗧 of all spread bets were on Kansas (+8.5) to cover against Oklahoma 😬https://twitter.com/FDSportsbook/status/1581371024742158336?s=20&t=xK3_20AJYs_81Wl2Hy-QZg
— FanDuel Sportsbook (@FDSportsbook) Oct 15, 2022
Yup. Kansas was getting absolutely trucked -- or I suppose Soonered? Is that a thing? -- and a furious fourth-quarter rally had us going full "Dumb and Dumber." But, alas, there was no chance, Lloyd. We were being played. Click our ruby red slippers together and let's just go home, Toto.
Verdict: Four buckets full of sadness when Vegas beats us all.
Five bucket all-stars
It wasn't all bad, though. Some of us, like Jeff here, are filling five buckets with beer that they're giving to everyone today
https://twitter.com/JBartlCI/status/1581854584561336320?s=20&t=03wboIVf92lq1taniVZ8TQ
— Jeff Bartl (@JBartlCL) Oct 15, 2022
Seriously, what did he know that gave him so much confidence in Bader and Naylor? Either way, maybe he can give this person a hug? They obviously have bigger guts than I ever will to not cash out. 5 buckets of beer here, also, to help with the sadness.
NEARLY HALF A MILLION DOLLARS RIDING ON THE COWBOYS AND MNF UNDER 😱 AND THE BETTOR IS LETTING IT RIDE... (@DKSportsbook)https://twitter.com/br_betting/status/1581810148062158850?s=20&t=03wboIVf92lq1taniVZ8TQ
— br_betting (@br_betting) Oct 15, 2022
In the words of the incredible Kenny Rogers, you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em ... well, you know the rest of the song. You're welcome for getting "The Gambler" stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
Got any bad beats of your own? Let me know on Twitter @jasonfitz.