9.18pm Match Abandoned Move along, nothing left to see here. Australia's valiant quest to score no runs in four overs has fallen heroically short. Cricket's cat's cradle of nonsensical regulations is the runaway winner of another farcical evening! What japes!

Thanks for all your comments, sorry not to use them all. Don't forget to click on every highlights link UK/Aus/Ire only before you go, and leave them running overnight to rack up the hits. We'll be back for more fun and games tomorrow when England take on New Zealand at Cardiff.

GhulamAli: "I wish I could post Karma meme here." I'll do it for you before you go, Ghulam

9.13pm Avinash Iyer: "If it is not raining at Lords, can the players be carted over to St John's Wood and the game be continued there? I am sure a few choppers can be arranged, and Lords is no stranger to chopper landings......" I don't know what you are referring to ...

9.05pm REAL UPDATE ALERT! "If anything, rain getting heavier..." says Alan. There you go. That was worth the wait, wasn't it?

Tom de Sailor: "Hey Andrew, on a cricket related note, Aus sort of escaped defeat against NZ because of the rain, and are being denied of a win because of the rain. So they still get 2 points on the board(assuming no more play happens). Justice served?" Indubitably. Though I doubt they'll get much satisfaction from that

To reiterate ... the final cut-off for a restart is 9.59pm, which realistically means we need to have clear weather for half an hour beforehand. So... I suspect we're nearer the end than the beginning now...

9.03pm Sami: "Can you please give us an update rather than typing useless stuff". No. I really, really, truly can't. Sorry!

9.01pm imran: "look I clicked on bangla (to support your wages) iron maiden link, can you explain why the lady has antlers?" That one doesn't support my wages, alas. But thanks for the sentiment! As for the antlers, I guess they just do metal differently in Dhaka...

8.57pm Go on then, Alan ... tear yourself away from the buffet, and paint us a picture of midsummer bliss... "Thoroughly grim," he declares. He's not even trying any more... "Wetter than the showers at the swimming pool in Atlantis' leisure centre." That's better.

8.51pm Tick ... tock ... tick ... tock ... it's not quite the gallows pole for Australia if they can't force a win ... but they'll doubtless have some empathy for the protagonist in this understated rock rampage of yesteryear ...

Oh, and while we're on the subject, Gallow's Pole is also the name of Bangladesh's leading Iron Maiden and Megadeth covers band. And I bet you didn't expect to learn that at the start of play!

8.47pm Benny: "That Underwood match has a case for the greatest cricket game of all time. The ebb and flow, the incredible finish, underwood majesty, sensational Dolly hundred and most importantly what the Dolly hundred represented for not just cricket history but global history!" Well quite... stick that to the system!

8.43pm Pushan: "woohoo! This is fun...if you define your idea of fun as irritating the out of everyone! Somewhere...in the background, one can hear a song playing far away - raindrops are falling on my head!"

Swaps: "What about the rest of us not in the UK, Ireland and Australia who do like you and don't want you to get sacked? May we have a gif?" You can have a nice archived article about the 1992 rain-rules farce. Sorry, life is unfair. Just ask the Aussies!

8.41pm Nauroze: "Hi Andrew, are you a click-baiter to earn a little extra from the side ? " Nope, I'm just a troll with a job. And a lot of time to kill this evening. Still, while I'm at it, if you're in the UK, Ireland and Australia, make sure you click on lots of lovely highlights. You'll be paying my wages. (Or don't if you don't like me and want me sacked. See if I care ...)

8.33pm The legend that is Robin Abrahams, whose take on these scenarios is the definitive final word, confirms that the DLS par score, after 16 overs and one wicket down, would be 39. Therefore Australia have technically already won ... they just need to block out four overs. But they might not get the chance, because, as Alan confirms: "The square is completely covered again now. It's weather for ducks."

Ian: "Sadly the inventor of the hokey cokey died last week. Took them 3 days to get him in the coffin."

8.24pm Sanjay has a terrible confession to make. "Sorry," he says. "The target is 166, not 172..." When my fossilised remains are discovered in the distant future, those words will be tattooed across my forehead.

reggie: "Why does your latest comment with the hyperlink "Covers are back on" take me to a youtube video called 'hokey cokey' ?? " Does it? What bounder did that?!

8.17pm Covers coming back on!

Jamil: "Considering situation, Australia should play next 4 overs maiden instead of chasing the target... real chase should begin after 20 overs just in case if they need to" It's very true. We are now in the ludicrous situation whereby Australia's best hope of victory is to do as little as possible and ensure the overs are bowled. And Bangladesh's is to concede a gallon of runs, preferably to irretrievable corners of a now-empty ground, and run down the clock to the final rain break! Cricket is ludicrous!

Kamran: "You still use gchat, Miller ?! Google must give you an award or something." That's nothing! I'd still use MSN Messenger if anyone ever noticed my mournfully flashing Cluedo piece in the corner of their screen.

Restart at 8.30pm, if there's no more rain! "The 43 overs target will be 172," adds my sidekick, Sanjay. Not sure they'll need all of those. Four will suffice, if the rain does return!

8.10pm "The umps are waiting 10 mins for the outfield to be cleared, then having another look," says Alan. So that will about now, then? Now then now then?

Balaji prasad: "Who is this Alan that the commentators keep talking to? Is he similar to the volleyball in the movie "Castaway"? Are the commentators talking to a bat or a flashing stump/bail?? Is the rain getting to me?" I dunno. He just keeps popping up on my gchat, saying things at me.

8.08pm Rhys: "Last year, at a game between Surrey and Somerset, there was a 4-hour rain delay - thunder, lightning (to the extent one of the scoreboards was damaged), and they cleared up and finished the game off. The groundstaff at The Oval are some of the best, let me tell you." Sounds a bit like Underwood's match in 1968 ... those were the days...

8.04pm Karth: "It is not necessary for both teams to bat 20 overs for a result if team batting second achieved the total in less than 20 overs." This is also true. I've given up trying to rationalise the irrational.

Irfan Mir: "I just checked out about Dubai Tennis Championship. Djokovic defeated Mikhail Youzhny in the 2010 finals but the match wasn't curtailed by rain and Djokovic won the first round 7-5." Aha, here it is. As you were.

8pm Right, it is, in theory, inspection (ship-shape-and-shine?) time. What can Alan see through the round window? "Can't see the umps," he says, somewhat unpromisingly. "But covers still being dragged off rather than on. Ooh, they're out there now..." Progress...

7.56pm WashOut: "Will these washed out games help in pay dispute negotiations? Just wondering..." Well, I guess the Aussies will be owed some overtime?

7.53pm Rahul R Jois : "2011 2011 Dubai Tennis Championship, Djokovic didn't even play against Youzhny. Stop publishing fake news"... boo, you're no fun. Everyone's at it these days!

7.43pm Right, here is the definitive tale of the tape. We will start losing overs (no, really) at 7.59pm, and thereafter one over will be reduced for every four minutes lost, leading to a final cut-off time at 9.59pm and final lights-out, dormitory-style, at 10.15pm!

Kunal: "From what I understand 20 overs is non-negotiable for a result. Both teams have to bat for 20 overs. Period" This man knows his onions.

Vikas Bansal: "I might be missing something. Can someone please remind me why in the world we are having Champions trophy in a country where its almost always rainy at this time of the year??" Because annoying people is even more fun than playing cricket!

7.41pm The covers are coming off. Repeat, the covers are coming off! An inspection at 8pm, so don't get too excited too quickly!

7.37pm Ilanin: "So let me get this straight: if the rain had come earlier, say after Australia's fifth over, and the match had then been reduced to 20 overs upon a resumption that allowed the next eleven overs to be bowled, the Australians would have won already, but with the situation as it is, we're probably getting a No Result?" Spot on! Isn't cricket great!

Sam: "Forget Perth, I was in Dubai during the Tennis Championship in 2011, where it poured like anything and Djokovic was crowned victor after losing the first set to Mikhail Youzhny based on his ranking after the match was called off. Crazy?!"

7.31pm "It's stopped raining (sort of)," says Alan. "Groundsmen tentatively beginning to mop up." Oh stop it, you tease. Haven't you got a cheese course to keep you busy?

Amjad: "Rain, Rain, don't go away. Bangla wants to make hay .... "

7.29pm A moderate reappraisal from Alan."They can extend the finish by 75 mins, according to the regs, which looks like 9.15pm. Just wake me up before you go-go.

Sunny: "How can the target be both 109 and 68 for same set of 20 overs. I am confused. Am I missing something?" You are missing the possibility of Bangladesh claiming nine quick wickets before the 20-over mark is reached. They are ahead of the rate at the moment, but DLS takes into account the possibility of a momentum swing. Clear as mud!

7.20pm For those of you still rocking, we salute you. And here is an intriguing precedent of our ongoing situation ... from the 2012 Big Bash.

And, may I also point out, that ludicrous finale took place in Perth! If it can rain there, it can rain anywhere? Right?

7.14pm "Optimism killed the cat," says a suitably shame-faced Alan Gardner. "Drowned it. This already looks like curtains. Although, since they only need to get four overs in, the cut-off might be as late as 10pm." Oh good grief. Kill me now Yay! There's still a chance for this tremendous contest to reach the only fitting conclusion! Hurrah for old-fashioned British justice!

7.05pm Ilanin: "Rhys's suggestion is actually "what happens if the interruption is long enough that the game is reduced to 20 overs upon resumption?" - since that would make Australia's target fewer runs than they already have..." Oh right, well, of course, that is completely different. If that does come to pass, according to my stats-literate colleague, Sanjay Murali, the target will be 109. So, either way, we wait.

The full breakdown would be as follows, for those who care about such things: 25-over chase would be 127, 30 would be 142, 35 would be 155, 40 would be 166.

6.55pm Hello again. Well, that went well, didn't it? Cheers Alan. my dinner will be in the cat by the time I get home.

Rhys: "I have a DLS calculator in front of me. I don't understand - if it's reduced to 20 overs AUS would have a revised target of 68, so does that mean AUS would need to face 1 more ball?" I believe 20 overs is the non-negotiable here. After all, Bangladesh could (in theory...) rampage through Australia's batting in the next four overs, and the target would be readjusted.

Varun has helpfully hacked out the DLS par-scores at 20 overs. 41 for 0, 48 for 1, 58 for 2, 69 for 3, 84 for 4, 101 for 5, 121 for 6, 141 for 7, 159 for 8, 172 for 9. It ain't over til it's over! Isn't cricket great!

Zee: "So long as your cat is not in the dinner, Andrew!" I could cope with that. Foul-tempered hissing fleabag.

6.52pm Alan Gardner is a broken man. "You can tell them I'm not optimistic about getting back on any time soon (which hopefully means it'll blow right through)." I'll leave you folks with Miller now.

Jigar: "So even though aus would have reached the target if game is reduced to 20 overs they won't be declared winner because D/L rules says so?" --- Reached and probably doubled. Yes.

Soma: "just like in Tests (not allowing fast bowlers when the light is not good), umpires should ask for spinners to bowl in these situations.."

Wajid Jawaid : "Drinks!!! At this time. Administrators!"

6.43pm It's drinks break and someone in office has just yelled "Drinks?! Cricket is such a stupid game!". Update: They are going off. The players. The covers are coming back on.

Remember, there's a drinks break around

Mahmudullah has just done a shuttle to the off side from square leg, only to return to suqare leg. Smith is not amused...