Marizanne Kapp has revealed that she had decided to retire from international cricket earlier this year, but was talked out of it and is now grateful she didn't go through with it as she feels at the peak of her powers.
The toll of balancing franchise cricket with being a vital all-round cog in a rebuilding South Africa side, alongside the fitness controversy around her wife Dane van Niekerk, had become almost too much.
But CSA director of cricket Enoch Nkwe urged Kapp not to rush into a decision. They have since worked together to look at her workload, and Kapp is now committed to South Africa for the foreseeable future, which includes T20I and ODI World Cups over the next 12 months.
"I did retire earlier this year - or asked to retire - and luckily I didn't," Kapp told ESPNcricinfo. "I spoke to the director of cricket, and he actually asked me to just hang on, think it through, [and] don't make decisions too quickly, and I'm glad that I didn't go through with it because I feel like I'm at the peak of my career.
"The older I get, I'm getting better. So it would be a shame to have worked for all those years, and now [when] I'm at my peak, I retire from international cricket. I've loved playing in all these leagues, but playing for your country and at World Cups is a different level. CSA have been so good to me in helping manage my workload. Now I'll play for as long as I can contribute."
Had Kapp, who had produced an all-round display in South Africa's first ODI win over Australia in February, retired, it would have continued a significant loss of big names from South Africa in recent years, including van Niekerk, Mignon du Preez, Lizelle Lee and Shabnim Ismail.
Kapp's ODI bowling workload will be carefully managed, but she remains confident of playing a full all-round role in T20s for both - her franchise sides and her country. She has committed to playing all ODIs which are part of the Women's Championship and count towards World Cup qualification, but will miss some T20Is including November's series against England, which overlaps with the end of the WBBL, where she has signed a three-year deal with Melbourne Stars.
"They [CSA] have been so good to allow me to play in the leagues where I can," she said. "With T20, it's not too hard to manage [the workload]. But in ODI cricket, I'm not 20 anymore, and my workload has been so high with the bat that it makes it impossible to continue to bowl ten overs [in every game].
"If you look at the make-up of the South African team, we are a bit light on the batting front. So I am needed more with the bat. So the bowling will probably take a bit of a backseat just in ODIs."
A major factor in Kapp's three-year deal with Stars was working with coach Jonathan Batty and playing alongside Meg Lanning - all three are part of Delhi Capitals in the WPL. The long-term offer was also key for her to have a chance to settle with one team. Last WBBL season, she was picked up by Sydney Thunder as the No. 1 draft pick, after Perth Scorchers opted to retain Sophie Devine ahead of her, but endured a torrid campaign, averaging 9.40 with the bat and taking ten wickets at 37.40.
"I'm a player that's actually very insecure, to be honest," Kapp said. "Moving [is hard] because I always feel like you now have to prove yourself. Then you try too hard, and things get worse and worse. Unfortunately, last year when I got to Thunder, I was ill, [and] missed a lot of training. And am the type of player that if my preparation is good, then I have more confidence.
"So I was low on confidence. Then you are in a new team, so it was nothing on the club or coaching staff; they were amazing to me. It's probably not my strongest attribute, but I'm just happy I know I'm going to Stars, and they are people I've worked with before."
Overall, though, Kapp's belief that she is at the peak of her career is backed up by numbers, particularly with the bat: in all T20s this year, her average is 33.06 and her strike rate at 142.97, both considerably up on her career figures, with Kapp saying strike rate had been a particular focus for her.
Meanwhile, in ODIs since 2023, she is averaging 62.63. She traces the success back to the Test century against England in 2022, but admitted it had been a difficult journey.
"It's probably been my toughest couple of years; it's not been easy," she said. "I've always enjoyed my batting… but [I used to] feel like the world was always so focused on my bowling and wouldn't speak about my batting, and that makes you lose confidence. When I had that big knock, it was like, 'I can do this, I don't have to prove myself', and from there on, I've had a different confidence in my own ability.
"My faith has been a massive part of it as well, having struggled with off-field matters, everything that happened with Dane, and with Covid. I spent so much time in my room reconnecting with the Lord."